Choosing Money and Love  

by Veronique Marchal

After years of starting a social action event company and hosting events “for free,” I finally got my first paying client.  I was excited about where this project would lead us and imagined the beginning of a long relationship!

My new client invited me for an initial meeting and explained that there was no budget, that they were in the process of raising funds for the event that I was to make happen, and that no one (including themselves) was being paid for their efforts – everyone was working on a volunteer basis.

So, I sat there and asked for money. 

Yes, that’s right. I asked for money of people that I knew had no money, and were not getting paid themselves.  And, a contract was drawn between their lawyer and my lawyer.

When I asked to be paid for my services, I explained that I felt that it was wrong for me to be asked to not be paid, and it was wrong for every other person sitting in the room to be asked not to be paid.  But, my colleagues felt it was more honorable to serve the cause that the event was raising awareness for – to the point of taking personal loans to float the event until funds were raised.

 To be precise, when I asked for money for my self, I made it clear that I was doing it for all of us – I was breaking a pattern. I thought they understood the motivation of my actions. lass, they did not.

So what happened? 

After some ups and downs, the event I was hired to oversee was a success. Sadly the event occurred without my receiving support from the volunteer staff that I had been told I was to work with – as they had heard that I not only had asked for money, but also how much.  Yes, confidential contractual information was leaked – the truth was out in all its all too real and revealing way!

A few days after the event, my client summoned me for a meeting.   Every person that I had worked with took turns telling me everything that I had done wrong.  They said I shouldn’t expect praise for a job well done - I was paid to do a job and I did it. Even more important, they were shocked that after finding out that everyone was a volunteer I had the audacity to ask for money, knowing that they didn’t have a budget and were scrambling to raise money – how could I be so selfish?  They even threatened to not honor our contract.

I listened, and said very little –as everything I said was cut off with angry voices.  I sat there and consciously sent them all love, and hugged and kissed every single one of them as I left and said ‘thank you.’  They must have thought I was a kumbaya chic that escaped from the 60s, but I didn’t care what they thought --- that was the big lesson, my ego accepted that they didn’t like me, were saying bad things about me, possibly hurting future business partners, etc.  And, I knew I had to let it go – I knew that I had chosen to start down a new path in their organization – the path that says: money needs and deserves to be here.

 Love and being human needs to be here, too.  I was also accused of giving “emotional explanations” for why things went wrong (even though in my opinion they didn’t) – and realized that was part of what I brought them too and what they gifted me with: they gave me the opportunity to choose money for my self and others. They gave me the opportunity to choose emotional and real, human and love-filled communications with my self and others.

Its’ not easy, I still don’t have my expenses paid for $3k, they are still not talking to me, and I know they are having summit meetings about how best to “handle me”. But my ego can acknowledge it and live with it.  They don’t like my choices, but I do.

Choice is all my life will ever really be – one choice, one response at a time.   Luckily, my ego is allowing me respond from a place of love in times of extreme importance to me, and the world.

In conclusion: It seems to me that the way we judge one another and ourselves as it relates to money is something that is screaming on the planet right now – where is the money, what are we doing with it, why are we doing what we’re doing with it. 

Connecting money to love-filled choices is something worth choosing.

To learn more about Veronique's organization AndAction!

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